Time Travel

Time passing

Every morning, I travel back in time. I go back to the exact same day the year before, and the year before that. And the year before that. I live it like I was there again, in that time and space and circumstance.

I relive the emotions, the hopes, the anxieties and the dreams. I examine the minutia of my thoughts as they play out in the complex arena of what we call real life.

I can time travel because I keep a journal – a page of thoughts and emotions as I start each and every day. What surprises me is how similar my thoughts are over the years, and how much energy I waste on the trivia of things that only matter in that moment. A minor altercation at work. Whether the subway will be running on time. Gaining a pound from eating too much ice cream. Fretting about the repetitive issues of life that never really change and in the long run don’t mean a thing.

How much time do we waste every day on needless worry and anxiety? How much of the thinking power of our amazing brains do we spend on the detritus of life that is ultimately meaningless?

Anyone can time travel. Just write your world down. I don’t try to manipulate my thoughts. I just say how I feel, the things I am thinking. So make a start and soon you will be traveling back to the week before, the month before, the year before. And then to a decade ago.

Eventually, something even more incredible happened to me. l was able to travel into the future.

With the realization that so many of my thoughts were wasted, I could begin to change the way I was actually thinking. I could stop obsessing over life’s noise and begin to focus my thoughts on things that make a difference to my quality of life.

In the end, it means nothing that someone bumped into us on the street. It’s unimportant that the weather is grim. It’s irrelevant that our Facebook posts were ignored. The energy of thought should not be wasted on any of this nonsense. So what should we be thinking about? The things that do matter. Health, friendship, loved ones, freedom. A dream.

And then we will find that by traveling back in time, we can travel into a better future.

I Think I Erased You

I am now meeting people I know, only to find that I have erased their names and entire personalities from my conscious memory.  It is only a prominent mole, a facial tick or a crooked nose that makes me realize that I do indeed know this person but have no recollection of how.

I am failing to recognize people I know on an increasingly regular basis.  I think this is a defensive mechanism and it is the antithesis of recognizing strangers.

It all comes back to a simple issue.  Our brains were developed in a village and the most people we could ever expect to know was one hundred.  As a consequence, we have a limited capacity for remembering people.  If a stranger came into the village, we would have to quickly get to know him to determine if he was a friend or foe and if he was staying.  But if we want to remember someone new, then someone else has to be erased.  I meet a lot of people so I think I have unconsciously developed a technique for erasing people without me even knowing it.  It’s not personal.

My previous strategy of deliberately ignoring everyone, whether I know them or not, has not worked.  My family and close friends found it too distressing.  I explained my theory and they presented me with an alternative thought: that I am becoming senile and should accept that things will only get worse.

So I should write my will now, while I am of sound mind and body.  And before I erase the people I love from my memory.

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