Did Someone Die In Here?

You can never be sure if you are alone in your hotel room.  These days, I always ask when I check in if anyone died in my room.  They always lie, of course.  The truth is, someone probably has died in their hotel.  Lots of people die in hotel rooms every day but it’s not something they advertise.

That hotel in Sydney was the worst.  I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night when all the lights in the bedroom and bathroom came on at the same time.  I called down to the front desk, as anyone would, and the man said I must have done it myself in my sleep.  I told him that wasn’t likely as I don’t sleepwalk and also there was an apparition dressed all in black in my bathroom singing Only the Lonely.

The interesting thing is that people don’t check into a hotel if they are actually dying.  They prefer to be in more familiar surroundings when they surrender to the grim reaper.  However, people do check into hotels to kill themselves because you can hang up the Do Not Disturb notice and be sure of no interruptions as you make your untimely exit, trying not to make a mess of the bed sheets.

Statistically, most people who die in hotel rooms experience an unexpected death.  This will almost certainly send their souls into Purgatory while they await the Final Judgment.  During this time (which could take weeks of anxious prayers if there is any doubt about their ultimate destination), they will wander aimlessly around your bedroom wondering what you are doing sitting on their bed in your underpants eating extra spicy chicken wings with blue cheese dip.

And on that subject, you should be careful what you choose from the room service menu because if you choke on a chicken bone there will be no one there to save you.  Except possibly that guy in the bathroom when he’s finished singing Only the Lonely.


  1. This reminds me of Stephen Kings “1408”. Good Job! Keep up the good work!

  2. Hi,
    You choke on a chicken bone everywhere,not only hotel rooms because if you are alone it means you are alone everywhere,that’s why please trust hotels 🙂

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