Strangers in Starbucks

It seems that I am getting better by the day at recognizing strangers.  For instance, I have seen my stepfather four times since last Sunday despite him having been confined to a nursing home on the Isle of Wight for seven years.  He’s senile and is not allowed out on his own which is why I was very surprised to see him in the queue at Starbucks this morning ordering a skinny latte.  He also did not answer when I asked him how he escaped.

My stepfather is double incontinent so he should not be drinking skinny lattes from Starbucks.  Everyone knows that caffeine is a diuretic and makes you want to pee.  By the way, if you don’t want to have urinary incontinence later in life, it turns out you should be doing bladder exercises (

As with saving for a pension, it pays to start your bladder exercises early in life or you will be pissing yourself on the sofa well into retirement and blaming it on the cat.  Unless you are also senile, in which case you will be pulling into Waterloo station and whistling because you think you are a train.

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